Realisation #5

I truly believe that there is no one else in the world who could be as capable as I am in bringing up my child. I know what's best for her and only I know the intricacies and intimacies of her personality and being. Although I am happy leaving my little one with my mother or my childs father and even her teachers at school, they're not me. And this leaves me a little bit panicky. Will they know that she likes to do things in a certain way? Will they understand when she asks to wash her hands? Or doesn't like to have her hair tied up? Will they know that she just wants to cuddle before she falls asleep at night? Will they remember to take "baby" (her doll) with her when they go out and remember her "kie" (blankie) at nap times? Will they know to let her push the button on her play play remote to open the gate to the house when they leave?

Is anyone else as paranoid as me? Or is this just normal. The kind of mothers guilt that we all have to go through. That like in wanting to always have a perfectly tidy and clean house, we will get over with in time?

I'm pregnant!

I knew that I would be a mother one day. I didn't know when. And I couldn't have guessed if I tried.

The day I found out I was pregnant, although it was a surprise, I was elated. From the moment I got confirmation of the positive result, I knew that (even if only to me) I was carrying the most important person in the entire world. Nothing in my life would be more important than being a mother and looking after my baby. And nothing still is.

The weeks following were filled with moments of sheer joy and excitement, coupled with moments of fear and apprehension. Would we be able to support our child? Would we be good parents? How could we prepare for this?

But, deep down inside, I knew that this was what I was born to do and that this was the perfect time for me to do it. I was going to be a mother, and I was going to love it!